Dream Catcher | The Buoyancy of Citrus

The Buoyancy of Citrus

Day five of our wind based imprisonment continues with no end in site, but due to the lack of beer on board, I made a desperate swim to shore.

I mean come on, we can’t have Thanksgiving Day hot dogs without beer.

Anyway, the swim in went ok and after stashing my wetsuit, flippers and and goggles in a bush, I hiked into town. As I mentioned yesterday, I was sort of curious how many beers I could carry and still float, but I also wanted to make sure all the effort was worth it, so I scored a 12 pack of light beer (because it’s lighter, duh), a bottle of Tanqueray 10 (gin) and a liter of Seagrams 7. When I got to the register to pay, I started to get worried about the weight so I bought 6 limes to use as cleverly placed flotation devices.

Saved by the buoyancy of citrus! Boo-ya.

Back on the beach, I re-dressed in my dive gear, stuffed the limes inside my suit around my chest and threw everything else into a mesh fish bag. I waded out into the shallows, started to swim and went right to the bottom. Shitty death!

I retreated to the shoreline to analyze my predicament and came up with a totally awesome plan. Drink the beer!

So I sat in the surf for thirty minutes and had three beers. Fully fortified, I waded back out and spent the next 20 minutes swimming the 300 meters back to the boat. It was slow going, but I made it without issue.

Amy helped me board the mother ship and then she made me disinfect the limes with a mild bleach solution. Something about them riding home inside my suit seemed to freak her out.

Once fully recovered from my swim, we watched the Carolina football game over the internet and cooked a lobster for dinner. The rain moved in right around dark and the wind gusted up over 50 knots during a few squalls. The remainder of the evening was a quiet mix of reading, surfing and drinking 7&7’s. To bed at 9 hoping for better weather tomorrow.

More to follow, end of line …

P.S. – Today’s video is the product of too much time on the Googles. If I had known dog’s could be trained like this I would have gotten one.

Cathy 27.11.2015 10:59:57

Wow, you're really reaching for material arent you? Keep up the good work. I need to laugh.

Alvin 27.11.2015 14:21:18

Limes in your shorts? Kinda weird bro'

Alvin

Corporate Update 05.12.2015 04:36:18

The Stalkers Association corporate office sent everyone home for the day upon the news of the passing of the weasels. Glum was the general mood around the administrative offices, cafeteria, break room and strategy conference area.

Things perked up the other day upon the return of OldSarg from his two-year sabbatical. Stumbling in from the cold, and dressed in tattered jeans, he was without doubt, the same person who originally dreamed up the business plan for the Stalkers Assoc. He had nothing new to offer, so we sent home to change clothes.

The Commercial Ventures Committee reported a break-through on revenue generation with the plan to grow and market hi-grade BoBo Cush based on MondoBud's growing method. We are waiting to hear from HR as to how many new people we can hire for growing, processing and distributing the finished product. Once the head of HR heard how much income we are generating off the FanDuel training program, she felt better about our hiring request.

The Director of Strategic Planning floated the idea of funding a new, larger boat for our branding celebrities. She provided data indicating increased monthly cash flows appear to be sustainable and would provide the discretionary cushion for the purchase of a new boat.

With no other new business brought before the Board, the meeting closed at 5:34 am central standard time december 5th, 2015

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The Buoyancy of Citrus

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