The Colour Nipple

September 29, 2005

Friday, September 23, 2005 - Swansboro, Swansboro, NC
By Tom

About last night, Amy failed to mention that not only were the girls wildly drunk, but they insisted on showing their breasts to anyone who walked by, regardless of whether they were inside the bar or outside. This may not sound too bad to some of you, but trust me, spandex is a privilege, not a right.

Anyhow, last night the no-see-ums attacked with a vengeance. The little bastards came at us from every direction and it came down to either facing them head to head or closing the boat up and pushing the late night interior temperature over 90 degrees.

I ended up staying up all night alternately reading a book and then every 5 minute's using it to smack the daylights out of the bug colony that was drawn to the light. Take my word for it, it was not a fun night.

I am a little bit disappointed in that the little devils were able to penetrate our defenses. I spent many hours installing a finer layer of mesh (wedding veil) inside all of our screens and up until last night this seems to have been effective against said beasties.

The flying teeth from last night may be a new evolutionary turn which could ultimately spell the demise of civilization as we know it. Or, maybe I left the main door open, but I will keep you posted.

Ok, today we listened to the weather and decided that we could be stuck here in Beaufort for the next 5 days waiting to go offshore, or we could head down the inside to Wrightsville Beach, two days away. We decided that Beaufort sucks and we would move on.

We spent about 4 hours motoring down to Swansboro where we dropped anchor in a wide open, well protected space and proceeded to go ashore in search of the local grocery store.

Well, we couldn't find the store, but we did find Paddy's, the local Irish Pub. We were the only patrons and the young guy behind the bar seemed desperate for customers. He was so happy to see us that he said if we ordered an appetizer, he would give us a coupon for a second free appetizer of equal or lesser value. I thought that was pretty cool.

We hung out with Chris (Paddy's Bartender) for an hour or two and then headed back to the mother ship. Dinner was aborted because we filled up on the free second appetizer. Tomorrow we head for Wrightsville Beach

Saturday, September 24, 2005 - Sloop Point, Surf City, NC
By Amy

I awoke just after dawn to the sound of the engines starting up. Thomas had warned me he wanted to get underway early, but I had expected him to wake me. Instead, I fumbled for some clothes and dashed out on deck to help get the anchor up.

That was a painless business, but the rest of the day didn't turn out as well.

Just before noon, we spun a prop on our starboard engine. Now for those of you saying, aren't props spinning whenever the engine is going?, I will add that this means that the plasticy thing that holds the prop firm so it rotates kinda rotted away, so the prop began to turn in whatever direction it pleased.

Thomas probably thought I'd crashed us or something, so it was his turn to come scurrying out onto deck. He joined me in kicking ourselves for failing to acquire a spare prop in Oriental as we'd intended. He began to call around to see if anyone close by had a prop, then realized that in order to answer that question, we needed to know the prop size. Of course, this was what had deterred us before--because said prop is under the boat and unreachable without taking a little swim.

The ferrets and I nominated Thomas for the job, as neither of them has opposable thumbs with which to hold tools and I might was well say the same given my propensity for dropping them overboard. Thus I got to see Thomas in his sporty wetsuit with large tools (Editor: Tool) tucked inside :)

Even after deciphering the hieroglyphics etched on the prop, no one around had the right one in stock. So we continued on our merry way toward Wrightsville Beach under one engine, at a whopping 4 knots. Luck did turn our way, though. We missed the one o'clock opening of the last bridge on our route by about five minutes. It would have been a major pain to wait for the next hourly opening, but a commercial vessel came up behind us and we got through quickly. Trust me, it's the little things!

At our speed, Wrightsville was too far to go before dark, so we are now bobbing happily off Sloop Point in Surf City, NC. The rest of the day was spent resting up for a mega-taco dinner and the twenty mile slog we have before us tomorrow. I expect we'll be in Wrightsville for a while because 1) we like it; 2) we have to find a prop; and 3) I'm nervous about heading too far south before I see what's going on in the Atlantic. After a few days motoring the ICW, Wrightsville will be a nice break

Sunday, September 25, 2005 - Wrightsville Beach, Wrightsville Beach, NC
By Tom

Well, it wasn't easy, but we made it. Against my better judgment, I fastidiously studied the tide chart last night so we could have the tide help push our wounded duck (boat) towards Wrightsville. We left at the proper moment and had a fair tide the entire trip. This is the first time in 6 years of sailing that this kind of planning has actually worked.

Even a blind squirrel gets a nut sometimes.

Our boat may be a phenomenal sailing machine, but with one engine in a narrow thorough fair with draw bridges, she handles like a blind granny driving a water bed with no brakes. It only got hairy twice, both times with the ferrets driving and a draw bridge looming, but we survived.

As Amy mentioned yesterday, we suffered a prop failure. The starboard side engine spun it's prop and as such it was as useful as toast in helping propel us southward, so we kept him secure and out of the water for the trip down to here. There is a Yamaha dealer in Wrightsville, so I hope to get or order some new props tomorrow. I have a sneaking suspicion they will have to order them, but I am holding out hope.

After safely arriving this afternoon, we took the dinghy in town to drop of trash, hit the local football/Nascar happy hour and then pick up some groceries before heading back to the boat.

Dinner was a mega sized chef salad accompanied by the Pittsburgh Steeler/ New England Patriot football game. For those interested, Pittsburgh lost. Asses.

Monday, September 26, 2005 - Wrightsville Beach, Wrightsville Beach, NC
By Amy

After a rude awakening by a ferret tongue licking the back of my knee, I headed out in my kayak this morning for a brief paddle into the swamp north of here. Thomas took the dinghy to Atlantic Marine. We were not hopeful that they would have the prop we needed in stock--and, in fact, they didn't--but they are able to get them next day from Yamaha. Mega cool.

After morning business was complete, we headed to the local cafe, which boasts free wifi. After two hours jacked in, it was still only noon. We dropped our computers back off at the boat and decided to head across town to a used marine-stuff store we saw advertised in Skipper Bob's.

We walked, and we walked, and we walked. We got to where it was supposed to be. No store. When we got back to the boat we had the bright idea to call the place--and the number has been disconnected.

Guess it's a tough economy for used marine junk.

True to form, we retired to the bar for a few post-walking drinks, picked up a few things at the grocery store, and headed back to the boat for some quality lounging on the back veranada--where Thomas managed to snag his pinky toe in the screen to our door and break it. The ferrets and I got to take care of him while he hallucinated on percocet. Guess there won't be much walking tomorrow

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - Wrightsville Beach, Wrightsville Beach, NC
By Tom

Our props showed up today. I was at the Yamaha store bright and early and for once there were no problems. $250 later, I returned to the boat and donned the wet suit swim fin bozo deluxe attire to install said props.

With both ferrets assisting I was able to get them both installed with a minimal amount of problems and no loss of tools or ferrets. At right you can see me giving Amy the fin.

While in the water, I checked on how hard it is going to be to remove the barnacles that seem to have attached themselves to our hull while we were at the buddy Fred's. It seems they will come off with minimal effort, so thats good news. We are now trying to procure ice scrapers to aid in the removal of said interlopers.

It goes without saying that I will keep you abreast of the First Barnacle Crusade as news becomes available.

After my swim, we went into town and on a whim we went shopping for cheap Amy pants. I think we got three or four pairs and I also got a 4 dollar Jack Daniels t-shirt. I can be a true redneck now.

Post clothes shopping, we were going to hit the local bar for happy hour, but they were closed. On a Tuesday? Thats kind of weird. Beerless, we returned to the boat and read books and watched the sun go down and had our own happy hour.

I think we will probably leave tomorrow or the next day. Anyhow, close the books on another day

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - Wrightsville Beach, Wrightsville Beach, NC
By Amy and Tom

Editor : Somehow we ended up with two logs for today, so they will both be displayed in their entirety.

Amy

The cooler weather has finally arrived! I headed out in my kayak this morning to circumnavigate whatever hunk of land we're anchored behind. Just in time, as it turns out. Thomas was soon accosted by the police--the pigs, the fuzz, Johnny Law. Thomas says he was "polite" (which usually means surly), and the police informed us of the 30-day anchoring limit here. No problem for us, though I wonder how the two boats of UNCW students living aboard are going to get around it?

Our afternoon proceeded according to the usual pattern: cafe for wifi, drinks at local bar. We then returned to the boat to prep the boat. I got to call Boat U.S. to confirm that our Bahamas insurance would be the same this year. Our friends Steve & Sally had been given a run-around, and I never trust insurance companies not to change their policies for no apparent reason. The person I talked to said everything is fine.

We prepped the boat for tomorrow's departure and then it was time for dinner. And Thomas's cooking resulted in an explosion! Really.

Spaghetti being a meal of last resort for Thomas, apparently the jar of Prego we had in the fridge had fermented and built up pressure since last we had it. When Thomas cracked the seal, KABOOM!, we had sauce everwhere--on Thomas, on the cabinets, on the ceiling. Of course, the ferrets wanted to see what all the fuss was about, so soon we had spaghetti sauce on them, too.

Fortunately, there were no fatalities from The Spaghetti Incident. But there was much cleaning before we (carefully!) opened a new jar of Prego and sat down for a heaping pile of noodles, sauce, and a glass of chianti for me.

Tom

This morning Amy got up and went for a long paddle on her kayak. I prefer to motor and so I did not accompany her. While she was paddling the a small motor boat with two guys on it showed up and asked me how long I would be staying. I asked them why they wanted to know and the old dude (about 70) says that there is a 30 day limit on anchoring in the harbour here.

I said politely "That's nice." and went about my business. He asked me again how long I was going to stay and I said I didn't know. At no time had he or the younger guy (30 ish) identified themselves.

Then I noticed the young guy who was driving was wearing body armor and a flak jacket. Hmm. Ever the quick study I then noticed the police like gumball light mounted inconspicuosly on the back of their boat right next to the word POLICE in small white block letters.

"Who are you guys anyway?" I asked.

"We're the police and we have to enfore the 30 day anchoring ordanance." replied Gran Pop. "Now, when did you get here?"

"Beats me, what day is today?" I offered back.

"I dunno, maybe Thursday." came the oldtimers reply.

"Well then, I've been here 3 days and I'll probably be moving on in a day or two."

That seemed to conclude my interogation for the day and the police and left. Wew, I thought they were going to find the fifty keys I was smuggling to Cuba.

The rest of the day consisted of free internet access at the cafe, explosive spaghetti for dinner, and a particularly bloody running of the ferrets.

No blood was actually spilled, but Mila stuck her head into the spaghetti sauce and it dyed her entire face bright red. She is now a two-toned ferret.

Thursday, September 29, 2005 - Calabash Creek, Little River, SC
By Tom

We motored out of Wrightsville Beach this morning. The weather is not going to be good for going offshore for several more days, so rather than sit here we decided to head down the inside towards Georgetown South Carolina.

Today was a fairly quiet day. The boat seems to be powering better with the new props, so thats good. During one of my shifts at the wheel, I decided I would start a new section on the website called MOGUHI or the Most Ostentatious and God-damned Ugly Houses on the ICW. I like to think it is said (mo-goo-e), but feel free to take some liberty in your pronunciation.

For those of you who are not familiar with the MOGUHI phenomenon, allow me to explain. Apparently there is some affliction here with which once you are infected there is no cure. The diseased person for lack of any explanation tries to build the biggest, ugliest house known to man on bug infested swamp land bordering the ICW.

Take today's victim. You will notice at right the monstrosity in question. This person decided to build an 18 room palatial retreat complete with dolphins (painted on the house), an outdoor pool with sliding board extending from fake rocks, and a light house. Then they paid extra to have it painted a color which can only be called Nipple. Can you say jackass? I think you can.

As I recall from last year, the closer we get to Florida, the more wide spread this disease is. I'll keep you posted. On with the show.

We are now anchored just off the ICW in Calabash Creek, which coincidently is near the town of Calabash. What are the odds?

We stayed here last year on our way south and we know it to be a pleasant anchorage. We plan on heading down to Barefoot Landing and the free dock tomorrow. Remember, free is good.

Keep in mind dear reader, that this compound is built in the middle of the no-seeum infested swamp! This person definitely suffers from MOGUHI.