Firing One Amy at a Time

September 23, 2004
By Tom

Thursday - September 22, 2004 - Hampton Roads, Virginia

We got off to an early start thanks to the alarm clock. We were washed, fed, and under way by 7 am. After avoiding near disaster trying to escape from the Deltaville anchorage (someone navigated the wrong side of the red #1, but you didn't hear it from me) we set sail for points south.

We weren't sure how well the wind would hold out today, but our planning and two days of waiting paid off as we were able to sail the entire 45 or so miles down to Hampton Roads at the end of the bay. Consulting our guidebook, we decide to anchor off Fort Monroe because it is suppose to be a museum and stuff. Apparently, Fort Monroe is unaware of this as they were buttoned up tight. Access Denied !

Instead we suffered through the worst anchorage of the trip so far with a constant 1 foot swell smacking the hull well into the early morning hours. I did take the opportunity to coral two tasty crustaceans that we invited over for appetizers before a bourbon chicken and rice dinner. To bed early so we can get the hell out of here at first light.

Friday - September 23, 2004 - Portsmouth, Virginia

We made arrangements for a slip at the Tidewater Marina which is located at mile marker 0 of the ICW. Hurricane Jeanne is coming and our insurance company won't let us go into North Carolina until she hits somewhere. This is the first marina stop for us in over 2 months, so I am not too worried about it. Hopefully Jeanne will pass soon and we can be on our way.

Also of note, on the way here from Hampton Roads, we were accompanied by two Atlantic Bottlenose Dolphins. They seemed to enjoy jumping and splashing around the boat. I think they might have swam on the short bus to school, because only a mentally challenged mammal would swim in Norfolk Harbour.

We are stuck here indefinitely, so tomorrow we are going sight seeing.

Saturday - September 24, 2004 - Portsmouth, Virginia

Hurricane Jeanne seems to be heading for Florida, so hopefully we'll be on our way soon. Our insurance office doesn't have weekend hours, so we are stuck here at least until Monday.

We loaded up our tourist gear (i.e. Camera, EPIRB, 9mm) and took to the town today. Portsmouth is on the western shore of the Elizabeth river and directly across from Norfolk. There are public ferries that for a buck take you across the river so you can walk around both cities. Today we tackled Norfolk.

The Nauticus Marine Museum was listed as a must see in our cruising guide, but I think the author must have ridden the same bus as those two dolphins. For nine bucks each (can you say rape?) we got to spend two hours walking through a myriad of maritime displays that were totally lame, broken, and managed to both suck and blow at the same time.

The only two cool parts of the museum were the fish tank in the lobby where we stood in line to buy tickets and the battleship, the USS Wisconsin, which it turns out is free to all who want to board her. Amy and I have noticed that so far, the more a museum charges for entry,the worse it is.

Boarding the USS Wisconsin was mega-cool. Check these pictures out. The sheer size of this machine is almost unbelievable and after considerable scientific measurement, we have determined that Wisconsin's 12 count of 16 inch guns fire exactly one Amy length shell at a time. Coincidence? I think not. She may be the perfect weapon.

After the fleecing at the museum, we stopped by a local pub for buffalo wings and a beer then went back to the boat for dinner.

Sunday - September 25, 2004 - Portsmouth, Virginia

Another day waiting. I wish Jeanne would just level Florida and then we could be on our way. I may have failed to mention that the marina we are staying at has free cable tv hookups. Needless to say I have been overdosing on live TV feeds since we got here.

Today was Sunday and as such, I stayed on the boat all day watching the Nascar race and then subsequent football games. Amy went to an art museum somewhere over in Norfolk, but you'd have to ask her about it for details.

After 10 hours of sports watching, I met up with Nick who is captain of the 112' mega yacht "Cortina" which is parked next to us. He gave me the grand tour and I was duly impressed. We then watched the late night football game on his 72 inch plasma big screen and drank some of the owners italian wine from his on board, 200 bottles wine cellar. Life is good.

Monday - September 26, 2004 - Portsmouth, Virginia

Still no word on when we can move. The lying bastards at NOAA say we can expect severe storms tonight and tomorrow, so maybe it will be over soon.

Amy and I went back over to Norfolk today. First we wondered aimlessly in one direction, then another. Eventually, we stumbled on the MacAurthur Memorial, which is a free museum dedicated to the life on one of our most prolific war heroes of the modern age. I was really impressed with the quality of the display. This one is a must see and a terrific value (i.e. free - we are cheap) to boot.

After two hours reliving the wars of the 20th century, we went across the street to the Norfolk Mega Mall and went to the matinee showing of Resident Evil 2. It was pretty scary and we both enjoyed it. Milla Jovovich is my hero.

Afterwards, we retraced our steps back to the mother ship in time for happy hour on board followed by home made pizza for dinner.

Tuesday - September 27, 2004 - Portsmouth, Virginia

We heard from the insurance company this morning, we are clear to head south. The weather here has deteriorated badly, so we will be waiting til tomorrow to proceed.

We toured the greater Portsmouth area today. We hit the Portsmouth Naval Museum as well as the Lighthouse Museum and the CourtHouse Gallery. More correctly, I should say Amy hit the CourtHouse Gallery and I hit Smokin Joes Sports Pub. We met up there later for happy hour and buffalo wings, medium spicy.

Back on the mother ship, we packed up everything and took on water. The boat is ready to go, so we are looking for a first light departure. There are something like 8 drawbridges that we will have to pass through tomorrow and they only open at certain times. This should be good for a laugh or two.

Wednesday - September 28, 2004 - Goat Island, Dismal Swamp, Virginia

We finally escaped Portsmouth. We headed out this morning from the Tidewater Marina after being accosted by staff for an unpaid bottle of wine. Less my devoted readership think we tried to skip town on a debt, let me relay the facts in this story.

At 7pm EST yesterday evening, I went in to inform the marina staff of our impending departure. As this is the south, we have been running a tab with the marina rather than paying as we go. All well and good. I asked for and received our final bill and subsequently paid for said bill with my AMEX card, then this morning, when I went up to the office to watch their 24 by 7 weather channel feed, the marina manager said we had a small problem with the bill form yesterday.

Apparently, a bottle of Pinot that we picked up from the store had not registered a price when they tallied us up and the manager requested in the nicest possible way that it would probably save him a lot of trouble and possibly his job if we could pay for said bottle forthwith. No problem.

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but this is the first time I have ever bought a bottle of wine before 8 am.

We cast off shortly after the wine debacle and proceeded south. We made it approximately 2 miles before we got to our first draw bridge. I had heard that the first 20 miles or so of the ICW southbound were fraught with draws and such, but I never anticipated what a pain the ass this would be. We went through no less than 6 draws and 2 locks in the first 35 miles southbound today.

Actually, it was kind of cool. Or funny. We knew what time the bridges would open and adjusted our speed accordingly. Several other boaters we not so well prepared and we laughed repeatedly as mega mondo power boats of the 85 foot class and up roared past us only to find them running in circles at the next bridge waiting on an opening.

I felt a little self conscious as we were the only sailboat in our group of 14 proceeding south. I felt even more self conscious after another sailboat, a late arrival and a catamaran no less, named Surprise radioed a lift bridge and asked for a lift. She had not yet come in to view of the bridge, so she probably did not see the humor in that there were 14 other boats waiting on an opening. The conversation between Surprise and the bridge tender is relayed below.

"Hello drawbridge XYZ, this is the sailing catamaran Surprise. We'd like to request an opening."

"Uh, Surprise, so would another 14 boats or so. Why don't you just get in line?"

"Oh, Uh, Er, Ok, Thanks. Great then. We'll just wait. Over"

Of course every boat waiting for an opening was now looking at us as if they thought it was our catamaran that had called for the opening. For the rest of the day we introduced ourselves as not the catamaran Surprise. Fortunately, Surprise showed up and waited for the opening with the rest of us, so hopefully the other boats noticed that she was not us.

I hate feeling inferior. We tried to stay as far away from Surprise as possible.

After the first opening, we motored south with all possible speed (Warp Factor 6 Scotty !!!) and quickly fell behind the other boats who were also supposed to be doing 6 knots, but it was ok, because they all had to wait for us to catch up at every draw as the bridge operators only want to open once for each group.

I think bridge operators might be sail boaters at heart. :)

We made a hard right at the entrance to the dismal swamp cannel and we were the only boat out of our group of now 15 to do so. Oh well, the road less traveled and all that.

The Dismal Swamp route turned out to be pretty cool other than not being sailable. It was kind of like being on a Disney water log safari ride. I kept expecting to see a fake hippopotamus or man eating mechanical alligator around the next turn, so I had the ferret drive while I manned the spear gun. Amy ignored us both and read her book instead. She doesn't like Disney.

On a sadder note, the Dismal Swamp will be closing in October for good. This is the oldest continuously operated lock system in the US. Apparently there are no funds for these guys any more and as such they will be shut down. You can read more about the Dismal Swamp plight at www.dismalswamp.net. Check it out if you can, these guys need help.

The swamp was kind of cool, but way too small for a boat our size. We barely fit through some places and it was way too nerve racking. We are currently anchored behind Goat Island with Puffin and Something Work, both of whom we locked through with. Tomorrow we will hit Elizabeth City, North Carolina, home of the Rose Buddies.

Thursday - September 30, 2004 - Elizabeth City, Virginia

We have found no roses, nor no buddies. We did find free parking spaces and 70 year old plus dudes to help us tie up. Somehow, Puffin got a rose, but we did not.

Elizabeth City is home to the Rose Buddies. Apparently, this is some old tradition of one or two old guys who lost their wives and so now they give women on visiting sailboats a rose when they land. Unfortunately, our boat is so wide, we had to tie up adjacent to the main pier and as such I don't think old dude could negotiate the six steps up and down to get out to us. Oh well, at least we got to stay for free. Free is good.

We secured the boat by 9:45 am and then went to explore the city. There is not a whole lot to Elizabeth City. There were a bunch of eclectic shopping areas that Amy thought better of than I, but other than that, I don't see the appeal. I did ride my bike the 6 miles each way out to the Food Lion to get mozzarella cheese, a steak mega pack, and Nutter Butter's. The ferret love Nutter Butters.

In the afternoon, we hung out on the boat, played computer games, and made pretzels. About 5:30 pm or so, the crew from Puffin, Steve and Cathy, came over for happy hour. We had a good time swapping stories and listening to the Dave Chappelle HBO Comedy special on our mp3 player.

Steve is retired Navy and he and Cathy are heading to Florida for like the 9th time. This year they are going to cross over to the Bahamas so maybe we will run into each other over there. The night ended around 10 pm and we are ready to head out to blue water tomorrow.

More to follow, end of line.