The End of Betty Crocker or Kabuki Puppet Theatre

September 23, 2004
By Tom

Thursday - September 16, 2004 - Urbanna, Virginia

We stayed put in Urbanna today and likely will for the next several days. Several severe storms are heading our way, so since we are in a good anchorage and a decent little town, we will probably stay put.

I spent the day fishing and crabbing off the back of the boat. I got about a dozen keeper sized crabs and one 6" spot. In between chasing seafood, I replaced the port side dinghy davit line which has been suffering from a cut incurred by one of our engines almost two years ago.

We went back into town for happy hour and then had fresh bread and bruschetta for dinner.

Friday - September 17, 2004 - Urbanna, Virginia

We had several rainstorms move through the area last night. There was lots of rain and wind, but little lightning. Maggie was scared and requested to come sleep with us. There is nothing quite like having little ferret feet poke you in the head at 3 am when she decided she wanted to go home.

In the morning though, the weather cleared. We got out Amy's kayak and she paddled herself around the little anchorage. I took the dinghy over to a nearby tidal island and chased fish in the surf. I caught exactly one. If I'd have had a fish print, I would have sworn that it was the same 6" spot I caught yesterday.

We met up at the mother ship for lunch and then I did a little more fishing before we went into town. We made several stops along the way including the Post Office, the Library and the Grocery store. On the way back to the boat we went into The Dollar General Store on an impulse.

What follows will surely turn your blood to ice and can only be described in whispers, I warn you the story is not suitable for sensitive (or sensible) readers.

Many of our long term (all 3 of them) readers will remember several stories over the years involving my Betty Crocker. Betty and I have been together for 6 years. She has been a faithful companion even though she is showing severe wear and tear from the battles over the years. Well, the other night I was making bread and managed to burn myself on the pan because Betty has a hole near the thumb.

Many of you will be aware of this, but inside the Dollar store things are for sale for a dollar. The composition and quality of the items for sale for a dollar are wide and varied.

While perusing the isles, Amy spotted two oven mitts and she thought she'd get them to replace Betty Crocker. Imagine my horror when she emerged from the Dollar store with two new mitts! How would Betty react? Would there be a bitter oven mit rivalry?

Well, I didn't think much more about it til the next morning on the boat. I was making muffins and I couldn't find Betty Crocker. "Betty! " I cried over and over. Then, I saw it. A small cotton trail leading to the back of the boat. "My God! Not Betty!" I was greif stricken.

There was no sign of her body, but my digital camera was sitting out on the bench. I quickly plugged the camera in and downloaded the pictures to see if there was some clue as to Betty's where about's.

In a vicious display of moral turpitude that is sure to rival the Abu Ghraib prison scandal we now have photographic evidence of Betty's demise. I suggest it was the Wu Tang Pineapple Clan oven mitts, with kitchen knives, in the cockpit.

Dredging operation failed to recover her body and after 15 minutes all search and rescue operations were suspended in favor of happy hour.

Saturday - September 18, 2004 - Urbanna, Virginia

The weather we have been hiding from finally arrived. The wind started out at about 30 knots and quickly worked its way up above 40 sustained with gusts to 50+. We stayed on board the mother ship all day.

Around 3 pm Amy yelled down to me that we were dragging anchor. I ran up on deck and found us perilously close to the weeds. We had dragged our anchor at least 300 feet and were on the verge of going aground. We got the engines down and running and Amy powered us back into the center of the anchorage while I recovered the anchor.

Apparently, when the anchor slipped it tried to reset itself, but it managed instead to find a half rusted 55 gallon drum. I dropped our second anchor and we let out a 10:1 scope. It took about 30 minutes to free the original anchor and get cleaned up. We stayed below for the rest of the day and at night I stood anchor watch every hour.

Sunday - September 19, 2004 - Urbanna, Virginia

One more day in beautiful Urbanna. We were able to relaunch the dinghy when the wind settled back down to below 20 knots. I went into town to watch the Nascar race while Amy strolled around taking pictures.

We met up at Schuckers later where our new found bartender friend Ricky made Amy this absolutely huge bloody mary that sort of looked like it was alive. Ricky is the guy behind the menu, not the red thing with olive stalk eyes and shrimp cocktail feet.

Tommorow we are heading south.

Monday - September 20, 2004 - Deltaville, Virginia

We finally left Urbanna today. We sailed down to Deltaville, which is only about 12 miles away as the crow flies, but thanks to the vagaries of sailing, we had to cover 38 miles to get there. We sailed the entire way and it took 8 hours. Along the way I caught this little blue fish (depicted at right). Needless to say we had fresh fish for dinner after we got in to Deltaville.

The friendly staff at the Deltaville Marina helped us take on gas and water and also let us use their facilities for a reasonable $3 per day. In the afternoon, we loaded our bicycles into the dinghy and assembled them on shore. We road into to town about 2 miles away with a group of three frenchmen who were delivering a catamaran from France.

Happy hour was a lot of fun although none of us spoke the same language natively. Not to sound like a xenophobe, I will still never be a big fan of France as a country.

Tuesday - September 21, 2004 - Deltaville, Virginia

Woke up in Deltaville. We are one of 4 catamarans anchored here in the harbour. All but one other left early this morning for points South. We are going to wait here until Thursday because that's the next time the wind is suppose to blow.

This morning I worked on 6 or 7 small boat projects while Amy kayaked around the harbour. In the afternoon we took our bikes back to shore and then biked around town taking care of a few small errands. We stopped by Taylor's again for happy hour then biked back to the boat for a dinner of crab quesadillas.

After dinner I did a little fishing from the mother ship and caught several small Sheepsheads and one 10" white perch. The perch became the poster child for fish nuggets. To bed by 9pm.

Wednesday - September 22, 2004 - Deltaville, Virginia

The wind is still suppose to be coming tommorow, so we got the boat ready to move again. Afterwards, Amy went kayaking and I took the dinghy and the laptop in to the marina lounge and surfed the net for 3 or 4 hours while simultaneously doing laundry.

In the afternoon we went back into town to the hardware store to get a set of jewler's screw drivers so I can atempt to fix one of our broken laptops. A quick stop by Taylors on the way home and then more fishing towards evening. I did not get to eat any of the fish I caught, but I did find Nemo.

Moving on tommorow.

More to follow, end of line.